Abduct

“So…you’re not going to return me to Earth?”

~You are a copy that we made. The original human you were copied from is still on Earth. You can’t ever go back.~

“Why? Why did you bring me here?!”

~Just wanted to hang out.~

“What about my family, and my friends?”

~They’ll never miss you, because you never left. Your original is still there with them.~

“But you took them away from me!”

~Do you want copies of them?~

Advertisements

Advice for assholes

(Question stolen from Dear Abby 9/13/2018)

My wife and I have decided to start a family, and the topic of names arose. My wife, who was born and raised in India, is insisting on Indian names for our children. The problem is they are often difficult to pronounce and spell. I’m not opposed to Indian middle names, but think traditional “Western” names may be more suitable, since we will live in the United States. How can I make my wife understand that having “unusual” names makes certain aspects of kids’ lives more difficult? — MAKING LIFE EASY

Look, MLE, the only thing you’re making your wife understand is that you are sometimes an asshole.  If you don’t like the names she wants for your kids, say that.  If you don’t like Indian names in general, then say that (and be prepared for the fallout).

But don’t pussyfoot around talking about hypothetical difficulties that other people might have with your children’s names.  I deal with Aarti’s and Ajith’s every day at my job, and believe me when I say that it is not an issue.  At most it’s, “Sorry, how do you say that again?” or, “How do you spell that?”  Done.

Names often have traditional meanings.  Do you know what these names mean?  What do they mean to your wife?  Do you love her enough to value them because she values them?  Would you love your children less if they had Indian names?

Answer these questions and maybe you’ll have your answer.